By Dana P Skopal, PhD

Sentences enable writers to convey a message to their reader. Many writers may know that sentences have a general structure of subject + verb + object. Hence the first part a reader sees is the ‘subject’. The subject is like describing what the topic of the sentence is about – that is the issue you are writing about in that sentence. Perhaps think about the ‘subject’ as: ‘what’ is this all about. That subject should be clear for your reader, but often it is not clear in sentences in business or government documents.

A writer knows where they want their sentence to go, but a reader relies on a clear beginning to understand what the sentence is conveying. Hence to guide a writer and a reader, there are a range of theories from traditional grammar to writing with a Given + New sentence structure (see the work of F Daneš and P Fries).

Our research has shown that if you place unknown or new information at the beginning of your sentence, or your subject is far too long (over 12 words), then you most likely will lose your reader. When recently editing, we came across a subject of 19 words, and which also had a lot of new information.

New facilities located near the city to replace the outdated and rundown buildings that currently house over 100 employees are planned to be operational by the end of next year.

The description about the facilities is very long. Further, who is planning this? So a good approach is to begin the sentence with what the reader can follow (maybe using active voice, ie who is doing the action), and then explain the additional new information in one or two sentences.

Our company is planning to build new facilities to replace the old buildings where some 100 employees now work. These facilities will be 15 km west of the city and will be operating by the end of next year.

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